Dumper initiated no contact. No contact is not game-playing.

Dumper initiated no contact And he got scared again and said i need to somehow let you go so muting hiding etc is i feel like a coping mechanism. As I’m sitting here in pain and regret I keep thinking that if she will ever consider coming back? I have initiated no contact to respect her space but before I did that, I made sure to communicate everything I could so she knows how much I care for her. Sep 15, 2024 · Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room – or rather, the absence of the elephant. And usually it wasn’t. I have comorbid ADHD and OCD and she has CPTSD and I now realize, in retrospect, that the BPD symptoms of it manifested in some super narcissistic traits for her. If you use the no contact rule, Whether you’re the one implementing no contact or you’re on the receiving end of it – the No Contact Rule can also break your heart and mind f*ck you MORE than your actual breakup. They are out of your life entirely, and you can step into a new you. Feb 24, 2024 · Understanding the no contact rule: How it works and why it is important for female psychology. Jan 15, 2021 · Coach Lee explains the experience that the dumper has from the point of breaking up with you through the stages of no contact. Lots of reasons. Sep 15, 2024 · Long-Term Effects of No Contact on Male Dumpers: A Journey of Self-Discovery. When a dumper initiates a No contact with a positive ulterior motive s/he feels worried. You deserve someone who is SURE of you. That, and it helps you reel in your panic and release some of your angst as you avoid interacting with your ex for an indefinite period. The fact is after they lashed out at me after 3 months of no contact it showed me they still never took the time to self reflect, heal, and love themselves. She initiated no contact with no explanation, no context, and basically dropped me like a garbage bag. TLDR: I am living proof that ignoring your ex, not contacting your ex, and blocking your ex does not mean that you do not care for them, don't love them, or don't want them back. So we did no contact for a few months until my birthday. I, who went from the first of his list, to the bottom. I made the mistake of begging and pleading the first few days after the break up but then went strict no contact. Jan 29, 2024 · That’s why you might never predict the final results even after the No Contact Rule. Shortly after they found their rebound. I found out she had a new guy 2 weeks after i started no contact. So after a few days on no contact she actually messaged me a couple of days ago asking if i meant what I said etc also she’s angry still and confused. No I didn’t feel interested in anyone else. If you don’t initiate contact, and they don’t initiate contact, it’s over. Sometimes no contact is the best way for them and the other person to move on because it can hurt seeing someone you cared about being hurt because of you and you will only feel like you want them back if you are contacting them all the time even after breaking up. Not much can be done, maybe he is try to cope no one knows but him. yet still, we still follow each other on spotify - she still has my playlists liked and even still Aug 19, 2024 · That’s why I reached out to Dr. The psychology of no contact on the male dumper centers around some key factors related to how men think. It’s like hitting the reset button on your emotions, giving both parties space to heal and gain perspective. Why does the dumpee move on with time and "forget" about the relationship That's what my ex did to me. “Why he hasn’t called me yet to check if I am doing fine” 2. Because she has self respect and chose to move on instead of keeping herself in misery by being hopeful that something would work out. Below, find everything you need to know about going “no contact” with ex, including how long you should stick to it and whether it’s possible to be friends with an ex after the dust has settled. it might be better to choose a life partner after things in your life have settled down, once you’re done with education and have a stable-ish career and living place and all that. When you broke up with her, the best thing for her to do was to stay strong and respect it, and heal, mostly people need to go no contact to heal and get rid of feelings, probably these are the reasons why she didn’t reach out. Mind you, he was a horrible person to me the whole relationship. What is the psychology of the No Contact Rule on a female dumper? The psychological effects of the No Contact Rule can vary among women and in different contexts. If you have this burning desire then attempt to reach out just don’t go overboard but no matter if you’re the dumper or dumpee you have to have this understanding that when you reach out they aren’t going to reply with the same energy they did like when you guys were dating. If she cheated then can you ever trust her if she is late coming home for a reasonable reason . The ultimate aim of this article is to help you understand how a dumper is feeling after a month of no contact. No Contact deprives them of the emotional validation that they seek every time they hit you up. I thought it would get better and it has for some time. Does No Contact Make It Easier on Dumper? Since they were the ones who initiated the breakup, they’ve a better understanding of why it happened and may have already started to emotionally Mar 30, 2022 · At this point, you won’t think of the no contact rule as a great way to get your ex back. When you initiate the no-contact rule, it can significantly impact the person who dumped you, also known as the “dumper. No contact is about the dumpee first, secondly about the dumpee and thirdly – about the dumpee. You’re not punishing your ex by doing it, even if it sometimes feels like it. Mar 28, 2022 · Used that no contact to outgrow an ex; Tempered escalation expectations; Studied what successful first contact text messages look like; Luckily for you, I’m going to go over each one of these things for you. She kept talking about self improvement when we are single and that we are better off alone. I initiated no contact for us to heal and move on. We didn’t talk for a month after that and then I had this strong urge of reaching out, so I did and he agreed to meet up. I immediately went no contact with her for my sake. 4. It won't bring a dumper back if that person doesn't already want to come back. 2 days later he changed his mind and said he can’t talk until he fully moves on. true. We then kept talking for a month and a half then i asked her to try again and she said no. I loved him so much and our relationship was amazing. I was the dumper and initiated no contact suddenly. In my case, I broke up with my s/o because of… Apr 3, 2013 · I agree both people need to want a reconciliation for it to happen successfully and that dumpers don't technically "initiate" no contact - they just stop talking and replying because the relationship is over. 12 votes, 29 comments. I was trying to be hard and not go back into the relationship. If someone dumped me and told me they don’t want to be with me the last thing I would do is reach out (which I have in the past but not anymore). Then they start stalking the ex on social media to see how they are doing without them. Jul 14, 2023 · It’s important to understand how the dumper feels during this period of no contact. It sends the wrong message. a month and a half into NC, I had to call her to sort out my belongings at her place. I initiated intimacy 99+% of the time, and she wasn’t a big fan of I am, also, the only one who suffers due to it. Ever since the break up I, the dumpee, have been the one to initiate NC. Sep 28, 2023 · The no contact rule involves immediately stopping all forms of direct and in-direct communication with a toxic person. After breakups, dumpers have power and control, hence why the no contact rule is the only solution. Mostly the dumper but I had 3 dumpees reach out after. They’ll still be smack dab in the middle of “separation elation” during phase six in Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. They may need space to process their emotions and regulate themselves. Doesn't believe things will change and must end things for their own survival. How to know that the NC rule is working in this case? If your ex doesn’t reach you during or after the No Contact it doesn’t mean that the NC rule isn’t working. Woke up still confused as to why this was her way to initiate contact and when she realized how dumb she sounded asking me to send her the money I got back from my own card she transitioned to “oh you didn’t send me my blow dryer, hair supplies back” and don’t ever contact me / removing me off social media. A time when no contact could become punishment, however, is when you apply it to hurt or manipulate them so they give you another shot. The no contact rule is much easier said than done, and unfortunately, it is all-or-nothing. Dec 2, 2024 · 1. Constantly contacting a dumper makes it worse, asking a friend to, makes it worse, and doing nothing makes you feel hopeless. A lot of people resist towards the idea of making the first move. we were able to reflect on our previous relationship & work on areas that needed improvement. About 8 months after the break up, she said she was unhappy that she was always the one to initiate contact. Breaking no contact should only be done when significant changes have occurred that change the original reason for going no contact. by removing her from my socials, not messaging her, removing her location etc. So yes. Posted by u/KhaledKaboom - 1 vote and 4 comments Feb 1, 2022 · The no-contact rule was made for her and situations like these. ) I cut my losses. Feeling compelled to reach out on big occasions is code for looking for reasons to be in contact aka smoke signals. They will block you She initiated no contact, and we’ve essentially been in no contact, but now she wants to see me to drop the presents off instead of her parents doing it on her behalf. (1 year into the relationship). It can even make them doubt the breakup. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, there was a huge pit in my stomach. Relief. I felt free, relieved, happy. she told me she needed space. I’ve reach out to my ex (i was the dumper) when he came back to my hometown but he seems to be in a very nice relationship and very happy. The no contact rule is a strategy that involves cutting off all communication with an ex-partner for a set period of time. They will do it indirectly just when they are anxious, and immediately when they feel avoidant will back up again. Here are two rules for real dumpers. Nov 25, 2024 · The no contact rule can be applied with some variations and leeway in certain situations. 135K subscribers in the ExNoContact community. If things end badly or you hurt her deeply, her emotions probably cause her to form a strong negative opinion towards you. It was tough, but as the weeks passed so did the pain (little by little). Oct 5, 2021 · The saying “out of sight, out of mind” has been around since the 1500s, and its meaning is extremely relevant here. I’m asking because my ex dumped me 4 weeks ago and I’ve been in no contact for nearly 3 weeks. Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. Our members… I think no contact is almost always hard if the relationship has any emotional connection or depth to it; it always has been for me even when I had a technically pull the plug. But in most situations i'm sure they have apologized shortly after or during the breakup already. You let them contact you. It’s a grieving process. of the dumper stage, as we covered earlier, your ex falls into the first scenario: #1 They Feel Relieved and Free, then, no, doing no contact will not Dumpee 🤚 Yeah, the person who dumps should be the one to reach out. We spoke about it and I told her it just hit a point where the messages, emails, and everything else not being reciprocated made me feel silly and I just had to hit the Way too many people in this sub try to use no contact as a way to get their ex back and it’s almost never a good idea. Mar 13, 2022 · If you apply the no contact rule, however, you will have no choice but to become a completely new version of yourself. I see a lot of anxiously attached people on here get their ex back but usually it’s the person who was dumped who reaches out first after the dumper initiated no-contact and everything. I joke now that going through a breakup is the best weight loss medicine. If you slip up even once, it’s Mar 5, 2018 · The female mind during the no contact rule may appear complex and difficult to interpret, but the good thing about the woman's mind in no contact is that it will usually tell you what it feels. [/quote'] It depends. My question to all of the dumpers, I know everyone's situation is different but what do dumpers feel during no contact? Some say that dumpers feel the opposite of what the dumpees feel during some stages. But isn’t No Contact enough to get your ex back? The No Contact Rule alone will not be enough to get your ex back. The no contact period was a bliss. In this section we will discuss the two most common variations for the no contact rule. Am I just overthinking? I do want her back but I also would only go back to her if we were both willing to work on the issues that ended our relationship - it’s not a case of The dumper has no right to break up the relationship and on top of that wanting the dumpee to reach out out of nowhere without even first giving the other person a sign that they want them back. Eight months ago, my relationship ended when my ex-girlfriend decided we should part ways. And let them live with it through no contact. Wrote him a letter. I pushed to fix things for about a month (with some days / weeks of no contact sprinkled in betwee I initiated no-contact; I didn't announce this to them, I just did it. Not entirely the same. Now that you are prepared on what to do after the No Contact, here are a few reasons why an ex reaches you first and 14 replies that you can use: The power of the No Contact Rule: Here is why your ex reaches you after the No Contact Rule! Been reading that no contact in getting a response tends to work better with male dumpers but not as well with female dumpers. 1. I then initiated no contact without telling her i just stopped texting. I'm slowly moving on and have been feeling less emotional to my ex. As the dumper, you initiated the action (it was YOUR decision). Being away from her made me realise how much I missed her and should have given her a chance. ” at 22, she felt a deep sense of dependence on me, coupled with her desire to explore relationships with women and The dumper should be the one to reach out in most cases. It only works if you stick to it. The No Initiate Rule . He was happy in the relationship but I wasn’t and even after communicating my needs (for years) I didn’t see much of an effort on his part to meet them. And it's easier to accept that sooner rather than later to avoid unnecessary self harm. The silence from a woman indicates a lack of romantic interests and portrays a great need for space. if we break up again in the future, no way will I go Mar 3, 2014 · Even though the breakup was rather amicable (mainly because he wasn't willing to do long distance), my ex boyfriend (dumper) went straight to no contact. Jan 9, 2023 · How The Dumper Feels After A Month Of No Contact. It involves intentionally avoiding any form of communication with their ex-partner. For the dumper, it’s one thing to think about never seeing or talking to your girlfriend or boyfriend again, quite another when the reality is actually unfolding and their forced to come to grips with the decision they made because you the dumpee are keeping solid with no we were doing no contact for 3 months he broke it and wanted to get back together. if you and Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. Then they become obsessive about the ex. The stages of no contact can be challenging, but they serve as a vital means to heal and gain clarity after a breakup. Members Online I finally initiated real no contact (first love/heartbreak) wondering does dumper ever reach out? Help Me(21M) and gf(21F) broke up and I officially initiated no contact a few days ago. Im not in that much pain but I find myself still missing her a lot. In this situation, to answer your original questions, which I believe you wanted advice on breaking no contact and what she might be wanting to meet about or how you should proceed. This article is about what your ex is going through, but I have a dedicated article about the stages of no contact for the person who was left. Oct 24, 2023 · While the dumpee may experience a range of emotions during the no contact period, the dumper isn’t exempt from these emotions. He didn’t want to and asked to be around in my life. So about a month ago, I [24M] was dumped by my ex [22F] after 2 years together. Dec 20, 2024 · An amicable breakup may also benefit from the No Contact Rule, as it allows both parties time and space to process the end of the relationship. If I dumped someone, I probably wouldn't want to hear from them so I assume it's on the dumper to reach out. 2. before no contact i told him that i’ll be leaving him because he doenst treat me as if i’m someone special and i’ve realized that he speaks to girls and when i confronted him he was like he doesnt and blah blah but i made sure and he really did speak to all the girls out there and snaps them No contact, unless emergencies. I finally started to post again like normal (1-2 per month) and he sees my stories within the first 10 minutes. We basically went no contact, and there wasn't any interest from her side for 2 weeks. Feb 7, 2021 · Three Most Common Behaviors We See Dumpers Exhibiting During No Contact I want to preface this by saying that about 80% of our clients were dumped by their exes so we have seen a LOT of dumpers face no contact rules and these three reactions are pretty standard across the board: Respect that decision. At some stage of the no-contact period, more than 60% of male dumpers will reach out (from what I have researched) I understand that the stages are different for female dumpers - from the limited info I have, it seems that many just move on and don't bother to contact their dumpee. its been over 6 months now I have only been the “dumpee” twice - most of my relationships were ended by myself (because I felt we wanted different things, because of feeling neglected/not a priority, because I felt that the situation had become largely one-sided etc. Ex-girlfriend (29F) of 3 years initiated the breakup with me (28M) roughly 2. Curious about how the no-contact rule affects the dumper’s psychology? In this video, we explore the stages a dumper goes through during no contact—from init Feb 2, 2011 · I have no way of knowing what any of it really means, knowing the signs helps but also hurts. It's important to remember that you cannot control your ex's behavior or thoughts. Read said letter to him; initiated no contact and hope he is able to find peace and happiness- but I care for myself too much to stay in the emotional THE TRUTH IS. I was silent on social media for 2 months and focused on myself and my trip with my friends while apparently he was posting every day from his trip. Make Sure You Complete A No Contact Rule. The Impact of No Contact on the Dumper. Dumpers remorse If they initiated no contact I’ll try to make this as short as possible. It is a way for the dumpee to get over his/her ex if he/she still wants the ex back. we facetimed (we were long distance) for a long time, caught each other up, and honestly felt like the good ol times. Because it takes two to tango in any relationship. Jan 3, 2017 · Towards the end of the relationship, she kept talking about what online guides say about our relationship and how it wouldnt last. I refuse to believe 4 wonderful years meant nothing to her. So now I’m back in square 1, technically the dumper, but feeling like the dumpee and having to start no contact even though all I want is for us to be back together again. when the dumper initiates it are there any differences with the process? But I guess you can never know if they care by solely relying on wether they’ve reached out or not, even though them not reaching out seems to indicate that they are not thinking about you. I muted all their social media, hid their WhatsApp chats, archived all our photos. So, I apologized sincerely and he felt it. We got back together shortly after the first breakup, but nothing really Jan 18, 2024 · No contact is a crucial step in the post-breakup process for those who initiated the end of a relationship. The partner who has started No Contact to learn how much they mean to you or wants you to say the first sorry after that fight, those kinds of dumpers feel concerned. Oct 9, 2024 · How does the dumper feel during the no contact rule? 10 effects. I don’t care if we don’t talk. I’ve written in depth before about the importance of finishing a no contact rule no matter I had a situationship with my ex for maybe 70~ days after the break-up, which was following a few weeks of no contact, initiated as a "last resort" by myself as the dumpee. As she goes through the stages of no contact, a woman is likely to have strong emotions. Here are the stages of no contact that a dumper usually goes through: 1. Psychology of No Contact on the Male Dumper. another few months after, I initiated contact because I want to know how he's doing. I also found it easier to move on as a dumper since I was already thinking about pulling away and thinking about the right time to dump (by the way, NC was pulled on me several times and it did not have any effect on me since I already moved on). Posted by u/Main-Nectarine-2190 - 194 votes and 308 comments After he broke no contact tried to get back together and left again, he started to hide his stories from me and everyone I know as his “moving on” process. ” Stage 4, in the stages of no contact for the dumper, is fear. So that they can’t see what you’re up to. Our members… hey, i’m 21 too and i date hoping it’ll be long term as well! i think the main thing is waiting a few more years till marriage because for most people, your early 20s are a time of a lot of change. “Well, he should contact me by now right?” 4. I am a dumper and I would like to hear situations of when dumpers reached out. From what I have seen from many people it takes on average between 3-6 months, in some cases it did take more than a year. 5 months since last seeing her. Then in the 3rd week she suddenly started watching my stories on social media and WhatsApp, and shortly after (I would say 3 and a half weeks after No contact) She asked me to be friends. You say "i need alot" and ill tell you what i dont need is flip flopping. I don’t care if someone has ‘no contact’ or not. Members Online I know it's not going to get my hopes up, I was curious what a dumper's thinking is because I'm the dumpee and was curious on what dumper's think during no contact. The only issue is he did all those 2 days after the wanted to get back together and telling me how his life was miserable without me. This means no texting, calling, social media, emailing, or anything else. I want to contact her so bad, maybe shoot her a text and say hello hope youre doing good. You aren’t waiting hoping that they’ll message you. Fear of losing you to be specific. Well, after a month of no contact usually a dumper is going to be feeling one of two ways. Sep 17, 2022 · No contact is not punishment. The no initiate rule simply means that you don’t initiate contact with your ex. 5 months ago. Regardless of the fact that they were the dumper or the dumpee. This is one of the stages of the no contact rule where you, as a dumpee, may feel confused but relieved at the same time. Stick to the rule and focus on your own healing and growth during this time. it did take me about 2 weeks to do this. We agreed mutually to end. Sure, it can make your ex miss you. Apr 9, 2024 · Remember, the no-contact rule is meant to give both you and your ex space and time to heal. Now you understand that not every woman goes back after being dumped by a low-value man. Well, I gave in and broke no contact after a full month since last text and 1. Im the dumpee. . Unless there were extreme external factors, there’s no excuse to break up with someone if the relationship was good. It’s weird because she makes twice as much as I do lol. This makes me want to just hate him. At my first break up, my dumper ex reached out multiple times after I went no contact, including once apologizing to me. 27 votes, 45 comments. Things changed fast and vastly, and as time passed, his priorities heavily changed. YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER REALLY KNOW. Take note people, STOP CHASING YOUR EX. Jan 29, 2024 · 19 thoughts that go through a female’s mind during The No Contact Rule . So after I dumped him, he initiated no contact for a month and I was miserable the entire time. I was with him for 8 years, was the dumper, and the initiator of no contact. First of all, men tend to think more about the so-called “big picture. Going no contact essentially means cutting off all communication with your ex. Does No Contact Affect the Dumper? If you’re wondering if going no contact will affect the dumper, the answer is yes. He answers all my texts, calls, requests to meet on the spot, but he never ever initiated any kind of contact. It really depends on the situation. It was a nonstop tug-of-war. “Oh he is just acting mad to make me miss him more” 3. No contact is not game-playing. 5 days ago · However, compared to the psychology of no contact on male dumper, women recover faster and come out stronger. She blindsided me and said she wasn’t happy and wasn’t in love with me anymore. 1-7 days of No Contact: 1. It's also possible that your ex's avoidant tendencies played a part in the breakup itself. My ex (broke up with me first week of December, crying the whole time, first two nights we slept together and at each other’s places. It is an effective approach to physically and emotionally distancing yourself from the person to give yourself the space to heal. May 17, 2023 · That being said, there are certain advantages to being the one who initiates the split – particularly when it comes to implementing the no contact rule. After a breakup initiated by you, you: Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing Jan 10, 2008 · This is my new theory on why an ex - dumper or dumpee- still wants to initiate contact after the breakup: The person who benefitted(and still stands to benefit) the most from your interaction will want to initiate contact and remain friends. When you’re asking yourself whether no contact works on women, you just have to understand that this is when the power dynamic will be Jan 25, 2005 · NC really doesn't necessarily affect the dumper at all. Even her thoughts are in sync with days/weeks of using No Contact. What does this mean? days prior dumper was saying they dont want to loose friendship, and we will always be friends. Jan 10, 2023 · 3. I just want to get a reply an During the challenging post-breakup times, understanding the stages of the no contact rule can be your anchor: When you understand what's happening, your brain naturally reduces your stress levels. Of course, I am feeling much, and I mean much better from when we originally broke up and I initiated no contact, but to say I no longer think of him would be I've been in no contact for 7 weeks and I've been looking at the dumpee's stages of no contact if that was true and surprisingly it was. Or at least that’s what I believe. Someone who doesn’t play with your heart (even if they don’t mean to, it’s still happening right now. So they should give the dumper the breakup and go in no contact for a few months at least before reaching out. Since then he blocked his stories from me and everyone I know. Sometimes dumpers struggle w no contact. Though it can be difficult, deciding to cut off contact can bring you peace and relief Aug 26, 2022 · So, your dumper has reached out to you even though you’ve been adhering to the no-contact rule. after a few weeks i regretted it and realized its more my own insecurities and depression that got in the way of our relationship, unfortunately the only thing i can do for her now is let her be and work on myself. When choosing to apply the no contact rule and taking any hint of your ex out of your sight, you can start to reclaim control of your life and the situation and replace your thoughts, actions, and time spent in a way that helps you be the best version of yourself. If anything, I’m grateful because it hopefully means they’ll leave me alone. The moment she said that, I finally knew I did the right thing. Cold, avoiding me everywhere she could, etc. Your ex will never respect you if they see you chasing them, begging for second chances, groveling at their feet, and putting them on a pedestal. Apr 5, 2016 · Its been a month now since no contact. For the female dumper, no contact can be a double-edged sword. Our situation got complicated. Apr 7, 2024 · No contact is a process of inward growth rather than an outward expression of disinterest. But it’s important to remember that just because they reached out doesn’t mean they want to get back together. what i dont understand is why she didnt initiate it at all if she clearly did not want me in her life. But I do. ) in those instances, while I technically did the dumping and initiated no contact, I was Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. The no contact rule can be a powerful tool in the post-breakup toolkit. 136K subscribers in the ExNoContact community. Our members listen, support, and encourage each other on their path to independence. 8 months of no contact, met on two occasions to talk about our future, and decided to “start over. I have been reaching out to him every now and then before I knew about NC. *I know there is no point to wait for your ex to reach out, but we are humans and at some point it will mean a lot that the person who dumped us for no reasons is finally feeling guilty and reaching out! I’m in a very similar situation & am having a lot of trouble with it. in the end it's more common to hear from a dumpee that was blindsided and Sucks my gf emotionally checked out when she left me for another dude such a coward move by people and such a coward way to go out… 1) communication issues 2) selfish 3)be a grown adult and have some balls… none of this “I checked out a long time ago” putting blame on the other person things can be worked out I understand in some way some situations can’t but if you REALLY REALLY He blocked me everywhere and it’s been almost 4 weeks and last night I checked and he had me on tiktok still as friends but this morning he blocked me there too! I don’t get it we have been no contact for 4 weeks why is he still blocking me when I’m not even bothering him or tryin to reach out. A lot of people will go as far as to disappear off social media altogether. I’m a dumpee and a dumper technically speaking because it was mutual at first but my ex initiated no contact after he got tired of hearing how sad I was about breaking up. While some may try to regain control, others may feel a sense of relief and liberation. I've been in no contact for about 6 weeks and have been feeling the waves of ups and downs. Now, the only clear thing when there is no contact initiated by the dumper is that they don’t really want a new start. Sometimes it was hard to say no, in every cases it hurt. If you’ve been needy in the past, you may think that leaving your ex to initiate all contact is away to give them space; and take off pressure. After all, with time, the dumpers view that you'll never change will disappear, but that's only possible with no contact, working on yourself, and letting your dumper wonder about you (you doing no contact with them is the complete opposite of smothering and depending on them - shows you are capable of it, against what your dumper believed). I got rid of everything. It’s the dumper’s version of what you felt after they broke up with you. i feel like the reason why dumpers are so hated (expecially in this subreddit) is because, to put it briefly, the majority of them don't care about the dumpees, and if they do it's basically impossible for them to show it without doing more damage. I never initiated any contact. (The dumper does mentally prepare for the breakup months prior to it, but it doesn't nullify the loss they feel later on. Giving the dumper space, time and the chance to experience his or her life without you is essential both for you as well as your ex. Unless the dumpee did something really bad that they need to apologize for. In the past, going no contact after a breakup made me obsess over and question everything to the point of emotional suicide. Healing process as one of the stages of no contact Told them it was too soon for that and that I needed time to heal. However, I don't view no contact as a way to get my ex back. Understanding the no contact rule is essential for anyone going through a breakup, especially when it comes to female psychology. The No Contact rule isn’t mainly making your ex call or text you back during it. As the no contact period extends into weeks and months, male dumpers often experience profound long-term effects that can shape their future relationships and self-perception. This may be because most of them have a strong support system, and they find it easier to open up to their families and peers. Also though, I'm the dumpee, and I didn't like when the dumper reached out, I don't want to talk to someone who dumped me, I'm not attracted to someone who doesn't want me. Mar 5, 2018 · The power of no contact after a breakup is so incredible, it guarantees the the best possible outcome for the dumpee. If you initiated the breakup, you might have a valid reason. my ex broke up with me 2 months ago. You might feel various emotions right now, from anger to relief. ” dated for two months, made it official, and now we’ve been together for nearly a year! it took a lot of work, vulnerability, & communication. From a girl who would message me everyday to ignoring my every single plea. Jan 29, 2024 · 3. When the dumpee decides to initiate no contact, the sudden absence of communication can leave the dumper feeling confused, hurt, and longing for closure. One of the most significant effects is the realization of loss and its impact on self-identity. No one has initiated that with me before, but I have initiated it. Then we started talking again and it went downhill from there. No Contact is the golden rule here. It can be hard for the dumper to have had to end the relationship as well. So that you are less tempted to look them up. Her emotions run strong. 12. In either case, no contact can be a powerful tool for both parties to reflect and heal from the end of the relationship. Obviously, don’t do that. so he broke it to ruin me again and then initiated another no contact (this time him not me). ” But if you initiate contact they respond positively; like your ex does. They often think that following the no contact rule is just about leaving their exes alone and completely neglect their own healing. Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general… After about 3 months of no contact, they liked an IG story, then a few weeks later DM responded to another IG story, it felt great of course, I was polite and friendly and tried to keep the conversation going, only to get ghosted again. Instead, you’ll see it as an opportunity to get your life back on track. The reason behind the breakup was complex; she felt the dynamic was largely positive - and she said “she was afraid if we kept talking we’d get married. The psychology of no contact on a dumper is different from what the dumpee has to go through during the phase. It's common for avoidant individuals to initiate no contact after a breakup. People are emotional need fulfilling machines to her. Members Online Posted by u/snedhelp - 3 votes and 12 comments Dumper sees no future with them, avoids acknowledging the good parts of the relationship while doubling down on the negatives. Though they have started the No- Contact they are head over heels for you. i initiated it because i felt we were incompatible, she agreed then we both cried about it for a while then we parted ways. It doesn’t mean that a fearful avoidant won’t ever initiate contact with you. Dené Logan, a therapist who could tell me why no contact is effective from a psychological standpoint. Feb 8, 2021 · Hello, i’ve started no contact 9 days ago. Then they start getting curious about why their ex never called. Put another way, no contact allows you to take time away from the push-pull dynamics often accompanying re-attraction. the other thing is what steps has she taken to heal herself as well. But, if someone did, I’d respect it. Its been 3 months after he broke no contact to get back together to just leave me again after 2 days and initiate no contact. If, after reaching Stage 4. Feb 20, 2013 · I was a dumper' date=' the first few months, he initiated contacts. Members Online 29 votes, 69 comments. obviously, I wasn’t over her nor the breakup, and I asked her if us Oct 15, 2022 · Does No Contact Hurt the Dumper? No contact can absolutely hurt the dumper, but whether it does or not, will depend on the circumstances of your relationship break up. Nothing. A question that's been on my mind for some time now since my breakup is the one in the title. Currently 8 months no contact working on myself, relearning myself that I lost, and loving myself. 9. No Contact and if you choose to make contact for any of these reasons, there must be no underlying motive, which there rarely isn’t. I’ve never regretted dumping someone. So, I shouldn’t care. Mar 5, 2018 · These advanced rules of no contact seem simple, but so many dumpees don’t follow them very diligently. She’s thinking about breaking the power dynamic. During that time i’ve been in a very bad state of mind and constantly missing her. What do dumpers feel during no contact? During no contact, dumpers initially feel a sense of relief that the relationship is over. The latter it suggests are more likely to hold on to negative emotions & reasons that led to the breakup & no contact has little impact in mitigating this over time. I broke it after 2 months because I started to heal and realize how hurtful I was. I was happy to get brief contact from them later when they said I was a wonderful girlfriend, they were the one who screwed it up and apologised. it's completely fine. We were long distance for the whole time and she was supposed to move… Apr 25, 2024 · In fact, they don’t initiate contact but indirectly give you signs that they need to have access to you. To me it matters what you really want. My ex hasn’t reached out to me during or after the No Contact. I read a lot about the different stages of grief the dumpee goes through after the breakup and the ones the dumper goes through, but I still don't really get it. But unless someone initiates contact, you and your ex will not get back together. bbvw bdywu ifmgqh wrkx xszvr lkod hkvda rbbt mwqwsx dfvcu